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Question My mother-in-law comes to our house unannounced several times a week. After several conversations and many months, I was finally able to convince my husband to ask her to call before she comes to make sure it’s a good time for us. But she drops by, and then he invites her to stay for supper! I realize this is his mother, but it’s frustrating me. I’d like some peace and privacy. What should I do? Answer It is clear that you want to deal with this lack of boundaries in

Question Our youngest daughter is strong-willed and throws temper tantrums whenever she doesn’t get her way. We’ve talked to other parents but still aren’t sure what to do. Any suggestions? Answer You’ve rushed into Wal-Mart for a few things and pass the Sponge Bob Bubble Bath as you check-out. Your little gal reaches out to grab it, you move her hand away and say no. Game on—the power struggle has begun. Temper tantrums can first appear during a child’s second year, peak

Question My wife and I struggle over the topic of loyalty to each other verses our relationship with each other's family. I don't know what to do. She sees my attempts at getting us to be one as an attempt to take her away from her family. Can you help me with some answers? Answer This sounds like a very lonely and discouraging situation. Your question is a painful example of the need for quality pre-marital counseling. You have run head-first into core issues that would have

Question My husband and I haven't done the greatest job in being consistent in how we discipline our 4-year-old son. Now that we have another child (22 months old), I can see that we've created a problem. Is it too late to start over with our son — and do you have any tips for how we can do it better this time? Answer The good news is that it isn’t too late to “start over” with your son. The bad news is that he probably isn’t going to like it so it will be important for you a

Question We love our 10-year-old daughter but her irresponsibility is driving us crazy. How can we teach her to be more responsible? Answer The bad news is that you’ve already lost some great years for teaching her to be more responsible but the good news is there are a lot of things you can still do to help her. At the outset remember that a lot depends on the age of the child and where they are developmentally. Be sure to give her age-appropriate tasks so that they don’t

Question My wife and I are very concerned with some of the music our son listens to. What's the best way for us to talk with him about it — do we just ignore it, forbid it or what? Answer You have good reasons to be concerned.  There are many artists today whose lyrics are so disgusting, obscene, violent, and in some cases demonic that they have to put warning labels on them. When dealing with teenagers it’s always important to try to understand them.  Proverbs has a lot to

Question Our kids’ friends seem to have seen every PG-13 movie release and every show on prime time television. Our family holds strict standards for what constitutes appropriate viewing for Christian families. How do we stick to our guns when it seems no one else does? Answer The Bible has a lot to say about purity, righteousness and holiness. In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ said that blessed are the “pure in heart” and those who “hunger and thirst after righteousness.”

Question Our 6-year-old daughter demands my attention at all times. If we’re not giving her focused attention, she’s misbehaving to capture it. How can I get her to stop stealing the spotlight from my husband and my son? Answer Every normal and healthy child needs and wants the approval, validation and affection of their parents and peers. Just as God lets us know that “we are precious in His sight” we need to let our kids know that they are precious in our sight. That the

Question My husband is addicted to the computer! He spends most of his time in front of the screen and stays on until late into the night, usually coming to bed between 2 – 3 a.m. I feel as if he prefers the computer to spending time with me! Am I being overly sensitive or expecting too much that he come to bed at a decent hour? What do I do? Answer You aren’t being too sensitive and you have some good reasons to be concerned. After reading your question, I am concerned for y

Question My wife is touchy-feely with several of my guy friends. She hugs them, holding hands with them briefly, touches their arms or legs. While I trust her completely–and the guys too for that matter–I'm uneasy about this. Are there any guidelines on what's acceptable? Answer You have good reasons to be uneasy. The core issue isn’t about whether you trust your wife and your guy friends. The reality is that we are fallen human beings living in a sensually saturated culture.

Question We have a son who is 6 years old and twins who are 3 years old. Often our son feels left out because the twins get “all the attention.” The twins obviously take a lot of time because there are two of them, and when we are in public they are noticed. So how can we make sure our son knows he is loved equally? Answer Whenever parents have more than one child it is always a challenge to find ways to give each of them the time and special attention that they need. In ou

Question My wife tends to talk too much about things I feel are our business. I’ve spoken to her about it, but she doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Am I making too much over this? Answer Healthy relationships need a certain level of respect and honor that produces levels of trust that can eventually lead to deep levels of intimacy. It is disrespectful and dishonoring for one partner to ignore the comfort level of their spouse as regards to sharing of personal information. The i

Question My strong-willed 6-year-old is wearing me down. She has an opinion about everything and it is almost always the opposite of what I ask of her. I give her options about unimportant things, such as what she will wear to school, but I put my foot down when she refuses to wear her coat on a cold day. Nevertheless, she persists and we end up in a terrible battle of wills. How can I make her obey without breaking her spirit? Answer You’ve got to love the strong-willed, opi

Question My husband and I have been married for six years. While I really love him and am still attracted to him, I'm also attracted to another man. I know they always say the grass is greener on the other side. How do I fight this temptation? Is something wrong with me? I’ve never been attracted to another man; my husband is my world. Is my marriage okay? Answer The fact that you find other men attractive doesn’t mean your marriage is in trouble. It may only mean that you ar

Question Our kindergarten son recently got in trouble at school for kissing a girl. Should we be worried? Answer Worried no. Concerned yes. Let me explain. I remember when the oldest daughter of one of my good friends got off the bus after her first day of kindergarten holding the hand of a little boy.  She introduced him to her dad and told him that “Someday Roger and I are going to get married.”  He talked with her about what that meant to her and within a couple of days

Question When I was a kid, I didn’t have a good relationship with my mother. She was a cold and distant disciplinarian, and I didn’t feel like I could talk to her about anything. Now that I’m a mom of two kids, I don’t want to be like that. I want to be more of a friend to my kids than my mom was to me. How can I enforce the rules and still be a “cool” mom? Answer We commend your desire to be a great mom. It’s a joy to see moms and dads who take parenting seriously. You want

Being in a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP means …If you are in an UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP …Loving and taking care of yourself, before and while in a relationship.You care for and focus on another person only and neglect yourself or you focus only on yourself and neglect the other person.Respecting individuality, embracing differences, and allowing each person to “be themselves.”You feel pressure to change to meet the other person's standards, you are afraid to disagree, and your ideas a

Question My husband and I have been married for seven years. He has a group of six or seven friends who get together three times a week to play football video games. Usually they play until midnight. It doesn’t seem to matter that I have to get up early the next day for work. I hate the video games and wish he’d stop playing them. Sometimes I feel as though I'm married to a 12-year-old. And although I love him, his video-playing makes me not want to be affectionate—or even ni