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Question My husband and I both work full-time. But when he gets home, he immediately changes clothes and parks himself in front of the TV. Meanwhile, I start supper, help the kids with their homework, clean up the dishes, and do the other chores. I’ve asked him to help, but his response is, “I need to unwind. I worked hard today.” And I didn’t? I’m tired of not having any downtime—and of my husband not helping around the house. How can I get him to start helping out? Answer A

Question My husband “fibs.” It’s mostly over stupid little things such as leaving the cap off the milk. These little lies drive me crazy and I’m having trouble believing him with things. I’ve tried to discuss this with him and it seems to help for a while, but then he reverts to his old behavior. What should I do? Answer Honesty is the cornerstone of character and integrity. One of the most important foundational stones for any relationship is the ability to trust who the oth

Question We have three teenage children and are looking for some specific ways we can help them go beyond knowing the core doctrines and the do’s and don’ts of our faith to cultivating a “lifestyle faith” that impacts all of who they are. Answer What you’re really asking is how can you build on your children’s “head” knowledge and help them cultivate a “heart knowledge.” In Ephesians 3:19, when Paul writes, “. . . and to know the Messiah’s love that surpasses knowledge,” he

Question I wish my husband would realize there's more to cleaning than just picking up things. I feel bad complaining, and he gets mad easily when I try to communicate with him. What can I do? Answer It sounds like you have some understandable frustration with how you and your husband deal with the household responsibilities. You are really facing two issues. The first is who is going to do what around the house. The second and more important one is how to communicate about i

Question We love our 10-year-old daughter but her irresponsibility is driving us crazy. How can we teach her to be more responsible? Answer The bad news is that you’ve already lost some great years for teaching her to be more responsible but the good news is there are a lot of things you can still do to help her. At the outset remember that a lot depends on the age of the child and where they are developmentally. Be sure to give her age-appropriate tasks so that they don’t

Question My wife and I have been having a disagreement about how deal with allowances and chores. She believes that allowances should not be tied to chores and I think that they should. What do you think? Answer I’ve sat in on many heated discussions between spouses regarding allowances and chores.  At the end of the day it all comes down to how you define them, how you use them, and what you hope to accomplish in the lives of your kids. No parent wants to raise entitled ch

Question My 9-year-old daughter is a great girl who's a lot of fun to be around. Her only fault is keeping her room clean. She likes to look nice when we go out, but when we get home, she just throws her stuff on the floor. I'd really like her to keep her room neat and to learn to organize. Is this a battle worth fighting, or should we just let it go and close the door? Answer What has been a battle is actually a great opportunity for you to better understand yourself, your d

Question My husband and I were married six years before we had children, and while we are different in many ways (he's way laid back; I'm driven and detail-oriented), we were able to work through most of that conflict with humor. Now that our son is 2, though, it seems we disagree about everything — from the little things (whether he should eat ice cream for breakfast) to the big things (like making sure he stays on a schedule). I don't want to spend the rest of our lives fi

Question Nobody warned me how tough it would be to be a parent to young adults. My one concern is with my eldest. Right now he's just working one part-time job, when previously he's had two jobs plus college. It's very hard to see him sitting around all day playing video games when the Lord has gifted him with so many talents. To see him not contributing is SO hard. What can a Mom do? Answer There is a lot a mom can do—but it may not be easy for you or for him. We’re glad tha

Question We have two boys, 9 and 12, and we’ve had a hard time getting them to pitch in and help with basic household tasks. How can we encourage our boys to see the value and benefits of actively contributing to our family life? Answer The crucible of family relationships is one of the main places God helps us learn how to move from the selfishness that was a result of original sin to the selfless servant heart that characterizes the heart of our Lord and is a manifestation

Question My son just won't keep his room clean. Is this a battle worth fighting? Should I just close the door? Answer When we hit the wall of conflict over an issue with our child it can be a good time to take a few steps back to assess the health of the relationship. How is the relationship going overall? Are you spending enough quality and quantity of time with your teen? Are you talking to each other? Is there mutual respect and good boundaries? Do you pray together

Question Our 16-year-old son has been spending an increasing number of hours a day on the computer. He plays for extending periods of time, spends less time with friends and gets upset when we limit him. Should we be concerned and what can we do? Answer You have good reason to be concerned.  Most parents have absolutely no idea of the ways that the internet is influencing, impacting and overtaking our lives and the lives of our children.  For good and for bad, digital techn

Question Since we had a child three years ago, my wife has gone overboard on being a mother—to the point where she’s mothering me. She talks to me in the same tone and voice she talks to our son. Plus, whenever he’s around—which is constantly—she insists I call her “Mommy,” while she calls me “Daddy.” It’s creeping me out. How do I make her stop? Answer Unfortunately, you can’t make her stop! But you can help her understand your concerns and use this as a springboard to creat

Question My 11-year-old son tends to blame others or circumstances whenever he is caught in misbehavior, embarrassed because he didn’t do something right, or just feeling inadequate. How can I teach him to own up to his mistakes and take responsibility for them? Answer Your son’s problem goes back to the Garden of Eden. When God confronted Adam and Eve they both resorted to the blame game and their descendents have been doing it ever since. We’ve worked with hundreds of cou

Question I am a single mother due to a marriage filled with domestic violence. I am raising three children, ages 6, 5, and 3, on my own. I am working two jobs and going to college full-time, also. Sometimes I feel guilty because I am so short tempered with my kids. I am only 26 years old and feel so overwhelmed and inadequate for the situation in which I have been placed. My oldest son has ADHD and I am not sure how to discipline him because nothing seems to work. Answer You

Question I'm a mother of two young adult sons, 21 and 19. Nobody warned me how tough it would be to be a parent to young adults. They want you and then they don't, it's SO hard to know how to be involved in their lives. My one concern is with my eldest, he has a wonderful heart for the Lord and music and has done a few summers of ministry work while in his teens, as well as the leader of his youth group at our church. But his normal tendency is to be lazy. Right now he's ju