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Question Our 10-year-old daughter is painfully shy around others. She’s quiet but still a lot of fun at home with us and her two younger brothers, but at church she’s very shy and has a hard time making new friends, and her teachers tell me she’s the same at school. She sometimes looks away when adults try to speak to her, any gentle nudges from her dad and I to “join in the fun” cause her to retreat further. She's been this way since she was small, but I thought she might

Question We have an adolescent son and daughter, and at times it seems like we can’t ask them even a simple question without them protesting that “You don’t trust me.” How can we communicate trust and respect for their privacy while still being loving and responsible parents? Answer Just as there are seasons in life, there are seasons in our relationships with our kids, and adolescence can be one of the most challenging seasons most parents will ever face.  The developmental

Question My 5-year-old has started telling “white lies.”  How do I help him learn to tell the truth? Answer Somewhere between kindergarten and second grade most children go through a lying stage. Whether its “little fibs” or “outrageous lies” this developmental stage presents Christian parents with an enormous opportunity to teach a core Christian virtue. We’ve worked with many adults who have lost their jobs, their marriages and their families due to patterns of characterlo

The year of 1996 began with great expectations in the Oliver home. On Thanksgiving my mom and dad had moved from their Southern California home of 36 years to Denver to be close to our family. Mom had experienced several strokes two years earlier but was still able to get around and was substantially aware of her environment and her family. We had enjoyed a wonderful family Christmas and were looking forward to the new year. During the second week of January, at about 5 a.m.,

Question I'm a step-father to three kids. I thought once the newness of our marriage wore off that the kids would warm up to me, but it's been rough. The little one likes to play, but my older step-kids give are often cold and resent any attempts I offer in discipline. I love my wife and I love these kids, but I'm about to burn out. What am I doing wrong? Answer You may not be doing anything wrong. It makes sense that the younger one seems to be warming up more quickly than t

Question We have two children in middle-school and both have talked with us about their discomfort at the bulling they see almost every day.  We don’t think they are being bullied, but we want to create a home where they would feel free to talk with us if it ever happened.  Any suggestions? Answer For several years I was part of a small group that met in a lovely neighborhood just a block from Columbine High School. On April 20, 1999, two high-school students killed 12 stude